RS2--daniel

Every ones "situation" differs..
We all may feel somewhat on the same page, though.
I am in the midst of an energetic drain..
The hellish winter, the grayish brown human-waste like slop covering the ground, the repeating stresses, the whole laundry list..No need to name them off..
It seems there is no end in sight.. (O, really? )
Is there a temporal rift of some sort, testing us in some sort of "final stretch", so to speak?
I know, from just the utter circumstances, that this spring will be so vibrant, and feelings of love will exude.
Could this be the last "hump", before the "reward" ?
much love

Hang in there bro, the Canadian wimter really is a b3€@h!
Try to fly south if you can to get some vitamin Sol.

I think it might be the depression time for you. After learning alot of new info and probably acting on some new stuff aswell, it tends to put one in "depression mode" for awile just need to relax and watch some nice films and series for awhile. Like Lonebear said in antiquatis forum about that "Dark night of the soul" thing hits then one needs to just take it easy and relax and do practically nothing to "survive" from it. I have had these depression episodes when nothing interests me and everything just seems to have gone to hell and there is no light at the end of the tunnel things, etc.. Maybe you should do some Qigong practice to get more chi, I like to do the exercises especially the standing meditation posture, to harness chi and the same time concentrate on breathing slowly and deeply in to stomach not chest breathing as all usually do. And of course try not to think of anything specific just concentrate on breathing.

On one end, I know that the mindset of staying in the light of life, and keeping things positive is essential. Every day it is the big picture I refer to, its a shame most of the people I know may refer to a false construct on their view of life on earth, and are fine with it.. People are not fine around here. Buter here is a theory of the cause.. The main object Im curious about,is the inter action with the climate, such as the "miserable winter" , and the mood of the collective soul. Just as Wilcock is explaining, the harsh, deadly air, is a reflection of us all, or most of us.. I believe the dark night of the soul is a mass event, is seen in waves, and has some/multiple influences from outside things.. When reading SFI, you hear about the effects on consciousness from solar events, too.

You might be sensitive to an awareness on a collective conscious level. Have you tried separating the "source" of the experience from the experience itself, in order to better identify where its coming from? Its possible you might find that you are not the source, but more like a "receiver" that's tuned in enough to that kind of energetic configuration to pick it up. In a sense, its what you've mentioned in your post, but in another sense, I'm distinguishing your individual feeling from the collective one - and that it is a choice how you would like to interact with the relationship between the two.

On the one hand, the fact that you are tuned into that kind of thing is a sign that presents an opportunity to you - do you want to stay tuned into that kind of thing, and if so, why? It could be to be of assistance to those experiencing a similar thing. Or it might have allure to be passive (as many melancholic experiences tend to induce).

So,

1. You have the opportunity to evaluate how you got here (i.e. how you feel)
2. Whether you want to stay here
3. Or if you would like to tune into something different

Bruce has also mentioned that he picked up something big coming this way and it did not look good at all. You might be picking up on the same stuff.

Evansville,

was thinking of you today:

Calm before the storm
Darkest before the dawn
Coldness of the winter
Why were things things,
inside me, born?

But I say,

SILVER 'fore the rain
SUNRISE with the dawn
Shining from the ashes
the phoenix again will rise

Its fire deathless,
its beauty breathless,
flight fire with fire,
wing beats fan the flames.

Why lay low,
on the horizon, the edge,
waiting for relief,
for unblocking,
for flow?

It lies inside you,
that fire.

The fire deathless,
its beauty breathless,
flight fire with fire,
wing beats fan the flames.

Where you are now?

Breathe, then blow,
Breathe, then blow,
not fast, first slow,
Your mind's eye focussed in,
CREATING the flow.

The ashes fly,
uncover, and glow,
storm winds rising,
fire, wind, flow.

Picture flight, fire rising,
up from its resting place,
to the silver stormwinds.

Shadow flees, as you take flight
Fan the fire, fan the light.
Sunrise follows - YOUR courage, YOUR might.
Its a mirror you see,
to your choosing of day,
or choosing of night.

The fire deathless,
its beauty breathless,
flight fire with fire,
wing beats fan the flames.

All you have to do,
see,
is breathe,
and let go.

I'm extremely sensitive to to my atmosphere, other people's mood and vibes (frequencies) ... basically, I'm very sensitive to all the different frequencies that are emitted. I'm highly empathetic ... while it's something that comes natural to me (or something I was born with and stuck with), if given the chance (which I know I could make happen) I wouldn't become less empathetic.

Sometimes it can be really confusing because I have a hard time separating myself from the outside feelings, moods, vibes. It's kind of hard to explain. As a simple example ... my room mate and I could have very little interaction throughout the course of a day. She'll stay upstairs while I stay downstairs. I'll be in a weird mood or funk and later she will come down and join me and apologize ... because what I was feeling was her mood.

I'm very much of a cause and effect person in that ... when I'm depressed, I look for the cause. When I find myself repeating the same mistakes a few times, I look for what it is that's causing me to make those mistakes.

Most of the time when I find myself feeling something that I can't find an answer for, I find out later that it was because something tragic happened or my room mate was having an off day. (In other words, I'm highly intuitive.) I need to learn how to better adjust with things like these. Many times it depletes my energy, my life-force (my normal drive and motivation will go out the window.) I've learned to be very selective with my friends, however I'm becoming somewhat of an agoraphobic ... I need to get over this, when the time is right and permitting. (It costs money to leave the house and go out and socialize.)


Anywho ... here's to another one of my more fragmented posts ... but it's really a post where I let the stream of consciousness do all the writing.

Sometimes feeling down might be mistaken with a lack of energy, when in fact, it is intensive energy being assigned to something else that is chosen.

Think of it like "internal alchemy", where you can't "run out of ingredients" (energy). The only thing you can do, is decide which ingredients to mix together for which flavor. Melancholy is one choice. Ecstasy is another. By combining the same ingredients in different ways, you create a very different flavor.

Just like different structures of the same amount of hydrogen, nitrogen, etc atoms can create completely different structures of different densities, attributes, and behaviors.

The trick is not to "focus on getting over it", because then you're just focusing on the same "flavor".

The trick is to take that same energy (of melancholy flavor) and transform it, transmute it, channel it, into a different mix for a different flavor.

But I suspect the issue is not the "flavor". And "getting over it" is not really going to accomplish anything.

It is very tempting to try and find the MEANING behind feelings, after all, we would like to make sense of things. But it might help to try and forego that temptation for a while. Try to NOT find meaning, but try to indulge yourself in the feeling. Become comfortable in it, make it as natural a part of you as the music you like or the food you prefer. Let go of all resistance against it. Just let it be. Then, without TRYING to understand, just drift gently and without effort, into the part of yourself that finds it useful to be in that state, to have that feeling, and that part of you that feels most comfortable with it. While just chilling in that feeling, ponder about what makes it useful, what makes it good? Don't resist the answers. Let it flow, and explore all of it.

When you've explored and became aware of many different facets of it, and especially acknowledged that its all there (very important), then you can take a step back like an observer, and decide what to do next. Leave it, do something about it, or not (which does not mean a bad thing, because you are processing it, just in a different way), or perhaps decide you've had a satisfactory amount of it and would like something else.

And perhaps explore the internal alchemy idea. Could take some practice, but its pretty fun. Just like making music, or making good food. Always worth the effort when you taste the goodness.